Star Trek opens in theaters May 8

Star Trek opens in theaters May 8

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I was born in 1966, the same year Star Trek debuted on television. As soon as I could reach the dial that changed the channel, I was a Trekkie. I watched the original Star Trek series in reruns whenever I could, usually sometime after school and before the news. My best friend Stephanie and I argued over which female space alien was prettier (the blonde chick on that planet that was too crowded), which crew uniform would flatter us (Uhuru’s – we both had big butts), which was the best episode (“The Doomsday Machine,” 1967). We saw them all multiple times, and were grateful no matter which one aired.

So I understood why there started to be Star Trek conventions. And it made sense that there would be Star Trek movies – at least the even-numbered ones, which don’t suck. And I got why Star Trek: The Next Generation took off (didn’t like it much, myself – Picard was okay), as well as the other spin-off shows.

But now J.J. Abrams is messing with the canon.

He made a Star Trek movie that isn’t a variation on the theme. It is the theme. It’s Star Trek. Spock. Bones. Scotty. Uhuru. James Tiberius fucking Kirk.

I’m going to see it in IMAX on Thursday.

J.J., don’t fuck it up.